


358. nightmares

by piggy09



Series: The Sestre Daily Drabble Project [75]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 19:55:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8026849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piggy09/pseuds/piggy09
Summary: Sarah can always tell when it’s a nightmare: there’s two of her.





	358. nightmares

Sarah has bad dreams a lot. When she was a kid she used to try and go into her foster parents’ bedroom and make them help her with them, but she’s twelve now and so she doesn’t do that anymore. She just wakes up, and breathes, and lies there and breathes until she can fall back asleep.

When she does it’s just another nightmare, though. She can always tell when it’s a nightmare: there’s two of her.

_I thought you weren’t going to come back_ , says dream-Sarah, eyes wide with fear; the words she say are never words in Sarah’s dream, they’re some funny dream-language, but Sarah can understand them anyways.

_I don’t want to come back_ , Sarah tells her. _Everything always hurts when you’re here._

_Everything always feels better when you’re here_ , her dream-self tells her earnestly. _Stay_. She reaches out, grabs Sarah’s hands, holds on so tight it hurts Sarah’s fingers – or at least it feels like it should, but it’s a dream. So it doesn’t hurt at all.

The world starts sketching itself back in. It’s new: it’s still a basement, but a different basement. Still not a basement Sarah knows, not one from a movie or from the telly or any of her foster homes. A nightmare basement. A dark, empty nightmare basement.

Someone is coming down the stairs.

_Tomas_ , her dream-self whispers, and she tugs Sarah’s hand and they run.

Sarah runs a lot in these dreams. Sarah and dream-Sarah run and run and run. Sarah is getting good at running, outside of her dreams; good at running from other kids and good at running from S trying to _fix_ her and good at running from anyone who ever tries to stop her. But dream-running is different. She moves so slow. She never moves fast enough.

_This is your fault_ , she yells at her dream-self. _You’re so slow! Go faster!_

_I can’t_ , yells her dream-self back. _I’m so hungry. I can’t run. Please, I’m so hungry._

Sarah isn’t hungry, though. Sarah is eating just fine. She hates dreams. She pulls her dream-self faster, faster, and tries to make this basement into something – else—

And it is. It’s Hyde Park, and the sky is blue, and the grass is green, and Sarah isn’t leaving for a country where no one knows her. She flops down on her back, heaves for breath. She’d always meant to try this before but had always woken up before she could.

Sarah’s dream-self is still standing, mouth so open a pigeon could fly into it. _What is this place_ , she whispers. Sarah doesn’t answer. She should know! She’s Sarah, so she should know. Instead Sarah rolls over and watches kids splash in the lake. Her heart pangs once, sickly. She wants to go home. She wants this to be home, and she wants to go back there.

_I want to stay here_ , says her dream-self.

_Yeah,_ Sarah says. _Me too. More than anything._

_You don’t?_ says her dream-self. _This isn’t where you live?_

Her face is completely empty. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t even know that this isn’t Sarah’s home anymore; it’s Sarah at eight, Sarah at ten, Sarah not knowing that she’s going to be taken away from here. Abruptly she feels so sad for this version of herself, standing there looking around like this place is precious and beautiful and going to be taken away.

Sarah stands up, wipes dream-tears from her face with the back of her hand. _C’mere_ , she says, and opens her arms up wide.

Her dream-self just stares. _Hug me, idiot_ , Sarah says.

_Oh_ , her dream-self says. She just keeps staring at Sarah. Sarah hates her, a little bit. It feels like something new. She’s learning how to do it, and she’s not sure if she wants to.

But Sarah’s dream-self steps closer, and Sarah holds her. The sky is blue. The nightmares are behind them, and they’ll stay behind them if Sarah just keeps running.

_Don’t leave_ , whispers Sarah’s dream-self, like there’s any way that either of them can stop anyone from leaving. Like they’ve ever been able to.

_I won’t_ , Sarah says. She doesn’t know if she’s lying.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please kudos + comment if you enjoyed! :)


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